Living erotically healthy relationships involves doing it with pleasure, knowing yourself, valuing yourself, choosing what, how, when and where, saying what you like and what not, and having adequate information to do it safely.
Francisca Molero, vice president of the Federation of Societies of Sexology and co-director of the Institute of Sexology of New York proposes to worry about having a good self-esteem, communicating with the couple and Learn new sexual knowledge.
Other Experts Give The Following Advice:
1) Take Care Of Your Health
For satisfactory sexual intercourse is important the absence of tiredness and stress, as well as medical problems ( testosterone deficiency , depression , intake of any drug that inhibits sexual desire, etc.).
“The practice of physical exercise on a regular basis is an enhancer of our libido , since it improves the production of testosterone and allows a good emotional self-regulation,” says Vicente Briet , director of the Vicente Briet Center and member of the Spanish Federation of Societies of Sexology (FESS).
2) Discover What You Like
To enjoy as a couple, “first I have to know myself well, to know how my erotic, my body works, what excites me, etc.”, says José Luis Casado Santamaría, a sexologist and therapist at the SENSO Sex Center in Valladolid.
“If each member of the couple has this erotic self-knowledge,” he continued, “the meeting between them will be much more fruitful and enjoyable. Communication, trust and intimacy between the two are also vital here. “
3) Letting Go
Santiago Frago, a physician, sexologist and professor of the Master of Sexology at the Camilo José Cela University, points out that “for a couple to enjoy their art of love and the pleasure of their encounter, there is no more secret than to be carried away by the desire of Encounter, dedicate time to love and space to eroticism “.
Over time, Briet claims that some stimuli lose effectiveness. “The solution involves the continuous exploration of stimuli of any kind (visual, tactile, auditory, olfactory, etc.). Also by the decontextualization of sexual relations and the search for alternatives (varying the context, habits, postures and rhythm, among others) “.
5) Know That Intercourse Is Only An Option
Married rejects the idea of a finalist sexuality, where everything is done for an end, which is coitus and orgasm, and all of the above is secondary. “This is the result of an excessively genital idea of sexuality.”
” Our sexual organ is the whole body, not just the genitals. Coitus is an option, but it does not have to be the only one to enjoy with your partner. In fact, intercourse, when considered the essential element for sex, gives many problems, such as anxiety. You have to learn to play other things, “Married recommends.
The expert says that there are couples who, at certain times, have fewer coitus but do not stop kissing, holding hands, sleeping embraced and naked, and, to a large extent, remain satisfied in the erotic plane.
6) Betting On A Healthy Relationship
The absence of conflicts within the couple relationship is one of the best forecasts for improving sexual health. You have to take care of the couple. And it is that in some people, the sexual relationship with the couple has long been an obligation, more than a source of pleasure and satisfaction.
“An unsatisfactory experience after another usually results in a loss of sexual interest, if not a rejection towards the couple,” says Briet.
7) Have A Positive Attitude
The sexual dimension is closely related to the mind. Problems of everyday life may affect sexual intercourse. “We must prevent sexuality from being interfered with by labor problems,” says Briet.
It is also important to be freed – mentally and affectively – of any negative prejudice against sex . To do this, the expert urges to give greater importance to sexual fantasies in any context of daily life and more especially before, during and after sexual intercourse.
8) The Frequency That The Couple Wishes
There is no ideal frequency for having vaginal sex. “The one that marks the age and the desire of each pair. From an orgasm or more a day, up to two or three a year, may be enough if the person considers it, “says Casado.
The age in which the man is more powerful, and obtains the maximum of orgasm’s, comes to be between the 15 and the 25 years. In contrast, the fullness of sexual life in women increases between 35 and 50 years.